Friday, May 15

What happens when the spider slayer is in Arizona

So I did not post any sweet Wonderfuls on Wednesday because I saw a spider upstairs and that made me afraid to go in the basement where the computer was. (that doesn't even make sense to me so it's fine if it makes no sense to you).

But now, fully recovered, I would like to tell you about this spider.

1. Thick. (a thick spider is a scary spider)
2. Red and yellow stripes (not from this land)
3. Quick (like race-car fast)

So I see this spider.

*small panic attack*

I grab a shoe and pray "Lord Jesus help me"

I hit him with a shoe. He is as fast as lightening and gets away

*big panic attack*

I get my central vacuum and plug it in. I put the hose near him and he STARTS TO CRAWL AWAY. what kind of spider is strong enough to crawl away from a vacuum hose??

A monster spider. not from this land. with yellow and red stripes. thick.

I start to go into a small panicking tizzy- I consider my options. Hotel, stay with friends, sleep in car.....

*small moment of courage*

I stuck that hose right up to it's yellow and red striped thick monster body and away he went.

I left the vacuum on for 5 minutes, because I was not sure how well monster spiders liked to be sucked down to their death and I didn't want to fight with it again.

After two hours of worrying that it might crawl around in the tubes in our house and make monster spider BABIES and would take over our home, I got to talk to Dan who told me the spider was now in smithereens.

*Still panicked*

Now I was scared about other things- like bad men coming in my house to get me, other creatures that were lurking around, how many spiders I have eaten in my lifetime......

I was scared until I scared myself silly, then I scared myself sleepy, and finally asleep.

I'm glad my spider slayer is home. This was one battle that I don't want to have to fight again.


  1. oh my! you make me laugh so hard!! when tote was in mexico i found a huge spider in my closet, but he got away and i never found him. i'm so glad you got yours. stay safe, friend! =)

  2. that is totally something i would do. especially the part about leaving the vacuum on for 5 minutes (you mean you didn't plug the end with toilet paper too?!) and the part about panicking and thinking a spider could cause actual humans to descend upon you as well. such is the life of a crazed lunatic (speaking only for myself, of course!)