Tuesday, June 23

Reese Cups, Rolos, and Hershey Kisses, Oh My

I've made the mistake before. Buying miniature hershey treats to "cut back" on my chocolate eating. Deciding that THIS time, I was only going to have just one at a time.

And yet, after a whole trip home from Target pumping myself up for this new dieting tactic, I just justified having multiples...multiple times....in one hour of chocolatey pleasure.

Here is a glimpse inside my brain- the following is a true story.....

"Well, I can't JUST eat a reese's, I have to eat a hershey kiss and a rolo too. I don't want to hurt their feelings." (3 down)

"Wow- those three were good, but I really want to end with a peanut butter taste lingering in my mouth, so I must eat another Reese cup." (4th down)

"I wonder if I could suck on a Rolo until it melts." (5th down)

"Whoops- I forgot and nibbled the Rolo. I better try the game again." Three rolos later..... (6th, 7th, 8th down)

"Hmm, I haven't eaten many Hershey Kisses....I better have one, two, three more" (again, why am I afraid to hurt chocolate's feelings??) (9th, 10th, and 11th down)

"I'll just eat one more......of each." (12...13...14...)

"I didn't eat a Reese cup last, so I better eat one more." (15th down)

And this, dear friends, is how I ate not one, not two, but 15 miniature chocolates in one hour. Attempt 5,629 of dieting tips and tricks.......complete and utter failure. Maybe I'll try exercising tomorrow.

Actually, I better finish off the bag of treats so they aren't around to tempt me tomorrow.....I'll be on my way then.

Tuesday, June 16

Why I'm In Love With Apples

anything apple is so enjoyable. Not apple as in granny. apple as in mac. granny i can live without. mac- i. can. not.

this post is strictly devoted to my love for mac and their love for me. yes, mac loves me. here's why. i bought an apple (mac) the other day. it came with two rebates. which the sales person filled out for us.
i was totally impressed because most rebate situations end with me on the floor in a heap crying because i don't understand the crazy directions and order of the confusing rebates....

i'm pretty sure when we bought our dell a few years ago and we were given rebates....our sales associate did not fill them out with us in the store to ensure we got our money. he did not sit us down in comfy outer space chairs and type out the information for us. instead we were given 4598 pieces of paper and told that 38 of them held the keys to getting our rebates. When we finally found those papers, from what I can remember of course, these were the directions:

1. Take this rebate paper and using your magic decoder pen, fill out the form. Proceed to take the rebate to the tallest tree over yonder.
2. Climb the tree and find the squirrel with green eyes. Place the rebate inside a hand-sewn collar and place around squirrel's neck.
4. Place squirrel inside a paper boat made out of paper from the smallest tree in China. Teach squirrel human speech and give it directions to the dell rebate processing center. Feed it two white mushrooms and gatorade for its journey.
5.Start the squirrel on it's journey by placing the speedboat down the Mississippi River. Instruct the squirrel to stop at the big cherry tree next to the dell rebate processing center where it will be met by some mysterious rebate dude that may or may not bring it inside the processing center to be processed.
6. Wait 17-29 weeks for the rebate to arrive. If it arrives at all. And only part of it will. And only if the squirrel reaches it's destination on Tuesday. Between 10:03 and 10:04

You see, rebates are hard to fill out and ridiculous to get right. They anger me because I feel like it's all a big game of rebate rollercoaster and you never really know exactly what to do. I always thought that rebates were only to be filled out on the days that I felt especially smart and had nothing else to do. And had lots of tissues. And belly aches. And anger with rebate rollercoaster.

And I just appreciated that Apple (mac) filled my rebate out for me. I wanted to give them props. So official props for Apple. Thanks for always being there.

Sunday, June 7

An Essay: My Summer Vacation

This summer will be an exciting one. I plan on starting each day by getting out of my night pajamas and into my day pajamas. I will then do a little no-work dance that will start in my bedroom and go down the stairs into the kitchen where I will prepare my breakfast. For breakfast, I will have cereal with milk (not cereal shoved into a baggie to shove into my mouth so i can get to work on time) and orange juice (not the warm water in my car left over from yesterday's water bottle).

I will then do my no-work dance again as I dance my way up to my sewing room (aka- room with futon that needed a fancy name like "sewing room"). I will then sit in my day-pajamas and sew and sew and sew all morning long. I will only take breaks for food and to take calls from friends asking me to do fun day-time things (which i will sometimes change out of my day-pajamas for, but sometimes i will proudly wear them).

Food will be a very exciting part of my summer vacation. I will eat lots of fun foods including peanut butter, reese cups, cheese, snickers bars, and tootsie pops. To balance my diet, i plan on cooking and baking up a storm for dinner and snack time with husband. But daytime eating will be an utter celebration of no-work and i may even do my no-work dance while eating.

Because I have worked so hard on losing weight (aka- getting my wisdom teeth out), I plan on skipping on outside for walks, possible gym trips, and maybe even do a no-work dance outside. Of course, since my days are already brimming with activity, i may need to cut out something....

My afternoons will also be bustling with snacks and TV. TV is a very important part of summer vacation. Catching up on shows and infomercials is crucial in order to stay aware of the latest workout equipment, homes for sale in Minnesota and Oklahoma, the best place to eat in Kansas, why puppy mills are bad, which disease i may have, and which new ziploc bags to buy.

With all this excitement, I feel a poem coming on....
Summer summer is so fun.
Summer summer in the sun.
Summer summer sewing lots.
Summer summer cooking with pots.
Summer summer no-work dance.
Summer summer day pajama pants.
Summer summer you are finally near.
Summer summer you are so dear.