Friday, July 31

10 Important Steps To Follow When You See Red and Striped Spider Not From This Land #2

1. Scream
2. Throw up in your mouth a little.
3. Call the spider slayer and alert him of the situation. Ask if he can come home.
4. Spider slayer is at work. You're shocked because apparently work is more important then spider slaying.
5. Throw white trashcan from ikea over it's yellow and red striped thick body.
6. Gag a little because one of the legs got chomped by the lip of the trashcan.
7. Wish the floor was even and pray the spider doesn't escape in one of the cracks.
8. Wait for the spider slayer to get home. Peek at trashcan occasionally to see if it moved.

Spider slayer finally gets home. The door opens. Silence. Wait for it....

9. Throw up in your mouth a little when you hear the slap of a shoe smooshing the spider to its death.
10. Be overwhelmed with gratitude and kiss the spider slayer for saving your life. Unless it's not your husband. Then just give him a little handshake.

Monday, July 27

Fancy Fantastic Fanny Packs and all their hands-free care-free goodness

I found out today that not everyone is thankful that fanny packs exist. I mean, I guess I knew they weren't cool- I'm not wearing mine to church or to the mall or anything. But I thought that everyone, at one point or another, takes their fanny pack out of the closet and says/thinks "gee- i'm glad i have this because today's the day i need it!"

Anyone?

Hello?


What about the convenience of it all?? No panicking because you don't know where to put your purse on a rollercoaster. No shlepping around a big old purse all around God's green earth. No worrying about where your stuff is. Hands-free, care-free, wonderful goodness.

Anyone?

Hello?


Upon further investigation, even my dear husband said that outside of a major theme park, HE wouldn't even allow me to bring my fanny pack. Apparently, fanny packs blend in with all the funny hats and shirts Disney fans wear all around the park (which I also love) and so I was allowed to use it. I was shocked- I thought fanny packs were NORMAL.


Am I alone here? Does comfort and convenience always succumb to style?

Ok- so because I am sooooo comfortable in my own skin (and my fanny pack), here are some pics I found into COOL fanny pack world. Look how carefree and happy I am with both hands free! And I look totally awesome, right?





Hello??

Anyone??

Wednesday, July 22

Currently.....

in love with:

Roasted Garlic hummus (hugging celery, carrots, wheatables)
Tabbouleh (hugging hummus and bread- those three foods LOVE each other. party in my mouth.)
Quilting (or my attempt at being somewhat sufficient in all-things-quilting)
Painting walls (even though it takes me 42.5 hours to decide on paint- help!)
My Nike hat (used for i'm-not-telling-you-how-long-ago-i-washed-my-hair-day). This hat was bought alongside the infamous bathing suit that has been worn only a few times...ok, once.

Sunday, July 12

An Ode To My 4 Days Without Diet Pepsi (unofficially titled: A Fancy and Useless 4 Syllabled 4 Stanza Poem)

Diet Soda.
Silver Can Top.
Crisp Opening.
Bubbly Goodness.

Calorie Free.
Amazing Taste.
Cool Brown Color.
Fizzy Bubbles.

Cool Blue Can.
Nice in my glass.
Can't live without.
My pepsi love.

And I promise
I will never
Go without you
Ever again.

Tuesday, July 7

Things I Am Delighted In

I love finding things that I didn't need and still don't need but wish I needed because they are just.so.cute/useful/fun/all-of-the-above

These are all from delight.com. and i'm in madly in love.




Key and Mail Organizer




Self Watering Plant Pot




Delight-Your-Room Wallflowers




Not-So-Cheesy Knife Set



When I win a million dollars, I'm buying these for me and all my blog followers. I'll let ya know.

Friday, July 3

SUV's, Salads, and Smooth Chocolate Loving

Car trips are a lot like eating a salad.


You prepare (Who really wants to eat a salad? It's definitely a preparation for me at least).

You sit down.

You go (driving or eating, just make sure you are not driving your salad or eating your car....that would be crazy- nothing like this post).


You have every good intention of finishing well.
You want to stick with what you started without veering off the track.

However, somewhere in the middle, you start to think it was a very. bad. idea. The road seems so long until you are finished.

You realize something is missing. Something is terribly wrong.

You start to go crazy. You just want to get up and run. You are yelling. You are crying. You are driving the people around you insane. You make up songs. You cry some more. You yell some more. The people with you tell you to go. to. sleep. That makes you cry more. and yell more.
You. just. want. to. crawl in a hole. and be gone.

At some point, you realize what that hole in your heart is for. you realize what you had forgotten to add. you realize you couldn't go on any longer without some.....

sweet delicious chocolatey goodness.



So being the problem solver you are,
you stop going.

You get up.

You prepare (Running shoes on- check. Cash in hand-check. Eye on the prize-check).


And then you run. literally run. to the nearest store, market, cabinet, closet, secret drawer, rest stop. and you get some chocolate.

you taste it.

oh that sweet chocolate.......you just want to kiss the baker.

you're so in love, you don't just eat your chocolate. You hug it. You love it. And then you eat it.



You've learned an important lesson today. You vow never to eat a salad or take a car trip again. at least not without having a well-stocked pile of chocolate on hand...and/or in your pockets (pants, shirt, and coat), filling your purse, stuck under your headband, hiding in your shoelaces, taped on your clothes, or stashed in your hood.


Well that's just me. And I certainly hope it's some of you. I would hate to be the only crazy normal one.