Tuesday, September 29

**Peace Out Worry- Peace is in the House**

It's weird.

I have been feeling very
not stressed.
not worried.

And it's kind of strange.
And very relieving.
And very exciting.

How? Magic potion? Fanny pack filled with chocolately treats?

No....not this time.

I feel peace.
the peace that passes understanding

not the peace that is superficial.
what i feel when everything is perfect.
when everything is really very good and very true and very right.
and i pat myself on the back and say
"Good Job Kiddo for feeling peace when everything is perfectly peaceful"

it's that special kind of peace
the kind i never really knew if i believed in
and never thought i would have....

there are so many things i should be stressing about right now.
so many things i should be worried about.

and yet, i feel peace.

it's quite an amazing feeling.
i'm so glad i'm not in control
that Someone bigger and greater
My Creator
is deciding my future.
every part of my life.
even the small stuff.
even the stuff i tend to worry about.
He already has it planned out.
and He takes care of me.

He gives me that peace.
He's the only way to have peace beyond understanding.
And I'm glad I finally curled up at his feet.
And stayed there.

i still cry.
i still think.
but in every moment/minute/hour/day/or week that the emotions last....
i still feel peace.
and i praise Jesus for that.


Monday, September 28


I did not drive slightly fast in the rain
through the worst rain since Noah
through puddles the size of a small pond
running over a small tree that was in a road....
or an extremely large branch with other branches and leaves branching from its thick body
however you want to view it...

just to eat two pieces of pizza the size of my head.

I did not follow them up with 5 grasshopper cookies.

I did not follow the grasshoppers up with two chocolate chip cookies.

My heart is certainly not racing from excessive amounts of sugar....

and I'm definitely not planning on eating a big bowl of ice-cream
mint chocolate chip
hershey's syrup
crumbled cookies

Nope- I'm having salad with a side of salad.
Extra veggies, no dressing, and certainly no taste.
Because when it comes to eating, I'm a rock-star.
Eating only what bunnies eat.

I also did not throw my hair into a ponytail before brushing it this morning.
Because it would have been sloppy and frizzy.
And I never sacrifice beauty to beauty sleep.
I always get up extra early to do my hair ever so carefully
and daintily place makeup on my freshly washed skin.

I also don't eat cookies and
drink diet pepsi for breakfast.

Nope, I'm pretty much perfect.
Especially on Mondays.

Thursday, September 24

Crackers + Cheese = Lovely Loving

I love every step of crackers and cheese.

the realization that both parts of this wonderful marriage are on sale.

the purchasing.

the cutting...ahem...the slicing of the cheese.

the opening of the ritz package.

the arranging of cheese and cracker on a plate.

the chewing, swallowing, and happy belly full of crackery, cheesy wonderfulness.

let me just say this.
i'm not sure what crackers and cheese do for my figure,
but i sure do know what they do for my heart.

and secretly, i know what they do to my figure.
and i would like to suppress that information.

Wednesday, September 23

The Once-A-Year Treat (unoffficially titled- Why The Heck Did I Buy Candy Corn Again?)


Stop me. please.

dear heavens, why did I go into CVS?
why did i go down the candy aisle?
why did i buy brachs america's #1 autumn mix candy (i.e.- candy corn)?

i thought to myself-
Ashley, you won't be able to stop.
Ashley, you feel sick after one candy corn.
Ashley, your heart races when you eat too much of these sugar bombs.

i still ate the sugar bomb.
actually, i ate most of the bag of sugar bombs.

i never do well with "mix candy". it's the ongoing battle of:
"did i eat enough of the chocolate bottom ones?" (the answer was no. so i ate more.)
"do i dare eat the giant pumpkin sugar bomb?" (the answer was yes. so i ate some.)
"did i fully enjoy the simplicity and originality of the regular ones? (the answer was no, so i ate some more.)

so i'll stop. now. because there is only about 20 left in the bag and i WILL NOT eat the whole bag.

and no, i'm not hoping i'll find a fallen candy corn in the blanket when i fold it up. after all the sugar bombs i ate, i would probably blow up...
or at least throw up.

but to eat one more delicious sugar bomb....what a moment that would be.

Tuesday, September 15

A Sudden Realization

I realized today driving home from my sewing class that I was acting a lot like small 2nd graders can act at times.

In 2nd grade I am the teacher.
In my sewing class, I am most certainly the student.
And today, I realized I most certainly can act like a small child in a sea of people, vying for attention.

And so, here we are.....

1. Even though it's not a race to finish first and there is no prize,
I still want to win.

2. It's hard to not peek at other's work.

3. You want to be cool and make jokes.

4. You make a joke and no one laughs.

5. You attempt to make a joke again,
because surely no one heard you,
because surely you are terribly funny.

6. No one laughs again and you realize you're not funny. at all.

7. You want to do your work the best you can,
until you're tired and need a snack.

8. You want your teacher to love your work,
so you show her as many times as it takes for her to say "Nice job."

9. You actually showed your teacher your work 47 times in one hour
to have these possible showers of praise.

10. You leave feeling proud of your accomplishment
and you're pretty sure the teacher loved yours the best.
and you're pretty sure she is still thinking about how awesome you are
(even though a secret part of you knows she is not).

Friday, September 11

Leggo my Oreo

I can eat 4 oreos in one sitting.

That doesn't sound so bad until you know what I mean by one sitting.
In which I mean that when I get up for anything and sit back down,
a new sitting begins.

I may have had 3 sittings in one night.

I may have had 3 sittings in one night four nights in a row.

I may have bought two packs of oreos.
They may be almost gone.

And the scale may have gone up 5 pounds this week.
Which is a lot of oreos.
Especially when they are washed down with chocolate chip cookies.
and ice-cream.
and chips.

i need to stop.
and i can't.
i've got the oreo bug and i just can't squash it.
my heart is literally racing from the sugar.
and i love it.

i better get up and stretch so that a new sitting can begin.
because i just ate 5 more.
and any more in one sitting would be gluttonous.

Sunday, September 6

Potty Talk

Painting your bathroom sounds like a great idea.

In fact, the billboard told me a fresh coat of paint would be awakening.

I thought when they said awakening they meant how I feel
when I smell the cookies baking in the oven
when I walk out of work on a Friday afternoon
when I realize i still need to eat my snack and dessert
when I hear Regina came out with a new album

Clearly, no.

I did not feel that way.

I felt unawake. and tired. and cranky. not even a brownie could make it better.

Sure, the color is fine, I didn't fall and break my head, it was just. so. tiring.
and disgusting.

If you have painted a bathroom before,
you know what I'm talking about.
The new relationship you develop with your toilet.
You hug it, lean against it, and learn it's every curve.

And we all know what toilets are for. And they are not for hugging.
Therefore, I did not want to hug my toilet.

It was not awakening.
It was gross.
And I had to do it twice.
Because Betsy Ross Moss House is a color that calls for two coats.
Even around the toilet.
So my perfectionist little spirit battled with my germophobic soul.
And the perfectionist won.
And the germophobe showered after.

If that bathroom needs a 3rd coat, I will scream so loud,
Betsy Ross will roll in her grave.

And I will take a torch to that billboard and shout
"Painting my bathroom is not awakening you son of a gun!"

And then I will probably eat a snack. and feel better.
Because a snack is what I end with at the end of every day.
especially the toilet hugging ones.