Sunday, September 6

Potty Talk

Painting your bathroom sounds like a great idea.

In fact, the billboard told me a fresh coat of paint would be awakening.

I thought when they said awakening they meant how I feel
when I smell the cookies baking in the oven
when I walk out of work on a Friday afternoon
when I realize i still need to eat my snack and dessert
when I hear Regina came out with a new album

Clearly, no.

I did not feel that way.

I felt unawake. and tired. and cranky. not even a brownie could make it better.

Sure, the color is fine, I didn't fall and break my head, it was just. so. tiring.
and disgusting.

If you have painted a bathroom before,
you know what I'm talking about.
The new relationship you develop with your toilet.
You hug it, lean against it, and learn it's every curve.

And we all know what toilets are for. And they are not for hugging.
Therefore, I did not want to hug my toilet.

It was not awakening.
It was gross.
And I had to do it twice.
Because Betsy Ross Moss House is a color that calls for two coats.
Even around the toilet.
So my perfectionist little spirit battled with my germophobic soul.
And the perfectionist won.
And the germophobe showered after.

If that bathroom needs a 3rd coat, I will scream so loud,
Betsy Ross will roll in her grave.

And I will take a torch to that billboard and shout
"Painting my bathroom is not awakening you son of a gun!"

And then I will probably eat a snack. and feel better.
Because a snack is what I end with at the end of every day.
especially the toilet hugging ones.


  1. oh ashley! i can't tell you how much this made me laugh! i needed that today! you're the best!! =)