Monday, September 28


I did not drive slightly fast in the rain
through the worst rain since Noah
through puddles the size of a small pond
running over a small tree that was in a road....
or an extremely large branch with other branches and leaves branching from its thick body
however you want to view it...

just to eat two pieces of pizza the size of my head.

I did not follow them up with 5 grasshopper cookies.

I did not follow the grasshoppers up with two chocolate chip cookies.

My heart is certainly not racing from excessive amounts of sugar....

and I'm definitely not planning on eating a big bowl of ice-cream
mint chocolate chip
hershey's syrup
crumbled cookies

Nope- I'm having salad with a side of salad.
Extra veggies, no dressing, and certainly no taste.
Because when it comes to eating, I'm a rock-star.
Eating only what bunnies eat.

I also did not throw my hair into a ponytail before brushing it this morning.
Because it would have been sloppy and frizzy.
And I never sacrifice beauty to beauty sleep.
I always get up extra early to do my hair ever so carefully
and daintily place makeup on my freshly washed skin.

I also don't eat cookies and
drink diet pepsi for breakfast.

Nope, I'm pretty much perfect.
Especially on Mondays.


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