Tuesday, January 12

My Utmost Apologies

Dearest husband,

I know you super loved your little Christmas present.
which were Wonka Christmas Frosty nerds.
your candy of choice.

my love, you are the smartest man i know.
but i'm not sure why you left your
Wonka Christmas Frosty nerds
open
in the driver's side pocket
in my car.

because, my sweetest,
as I was driving in traffic today
I desperately needed a snack
and was so desperate
I almost had to eat an orange.

but then....
a glorious moment.
I saw them,
the corner of the box
shining like the brightest star.

And so I ate
possibly like a pig
dumping the nerds from the box
into my mouth
letting them fall........

those glorious beads of sugary wonderfulness.

I let every one fall into my mouth.
except the lonely watermelon ball that rolled to the land of nowhere
under my seat.
r.i.p.

So, my dear husband,
my utmost apologies
for eating your favorite edible treat.

and I will certainly make it up to you
by buying you brand new Wonka nerds
as long as you share.
and I get all the watermelon.

ok. i'll split the watermelon with you 80/20.

I love you.
Thanks for loving me
and my sugary addiction.
If it's worth anything
anditbetterbe
I'm totally addicted to you too.

Ashley.

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