Saturday, March 13

Breathing.

It's hard to know exactly what to say
to start out this post.
I guess what I want to say is that sometimes
life makes me feel tired.
overwhelmed.
and a whole lot of other feelings
that I don't like feeling.

but then
Hallelujah for the "but"
God throws out a reminder
a whisper
a "Child- did you forget already?"
whatever you want to call it...

like tonight
as I let my emotions get all emotional on me
and "Give me Jesus" starts playing on the radio.

and I realize
once again (oh how quickly I seem to forget sometimes)
that everything that I am allowing to consume my thoughts
is of this world.

everything I am letting affect me
is not eternal.

And I have Jesus.
I don't need anything else.
I shouldn't worry about all that other stuff.

He's taking care of me.
I just need to seek Him
with all of my heart
and truly say to the world
"World- you can keep it.
I'm uninterested.
Give me Jesus."


But still
to be quite honest
sometimes
even after the song has played
I still allow myself to be caught up in the moment.
caught up in things I can't control.
or things that I just want to go away.
or things I want to stay just the way they are.
or things I wish didn't happen.
or things I want so badly so happen.

and a part of me just wants to sleep
and hope I wake up feeling better...
but I know I should pray.
I know I should ask God to help me.
to bring me back to Him.

because if I allow other things to control me
I'm in bondage.
and I want to be free.
and I want to say
Give me Jesus.
and I want nothing else to matter.


because it's then
only then
when I can finally breathe.
because I will be holding on to what's truly true.
and what truly matters.
Jesus.

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