Thursday, April 8

Centering Our Thoughts

Last Thursday, we drove up to my parents' house for a little vacation.

I had a lot on my mind.

What I was planning on doing: 
celebrate my birthday.
attend Good Friday and Easter services.
relax and eat good food.
and spend lots of time with my family.

Various worries and complaints:  
if my clothes were getting wrinkled in my suitcase.
if I brought the right shoes for hiking.
about traffic (and planning on being thoroughly annoyed if there was any).
wondering if we would have a lot of uninterrupted fun.

Last Friday, everything changed.
The only thing I planned on doing was praying.
The only thing I was worried about was if my husband would be paralyzed.
Everything else in my mind flew out.

Suddenly God, who could easily slip my mind
when I had other "important" things to think about
was the only One I could keep on my mind.

Of course,
I would like to think
that I never completely forget about God.
It's just that other things come to the forefront of my mind.

And really,
I should be centering every thought around God.
He's not something in a line
ready to be thought about.

And I don't really believe that we should say
He is at the front of the line either.
Because when you say it like that,
it still sounds like God is taking a turn...

when really,

God should be the center of all we think and do.

Do I believe that this life lesson
is easily learned?
That this test that the Lord set before my husband and I this past weekend
makes me perfect at placing Him at the center of every thought and action?

Certainly not.
In fact today,
I was worried again about Dan's brace not fitting.
And I harbored that worry in my heart.
That worry was really hard to give up
even though God proved it very clearly this week
that He is in control.

And so once again, 
I had to ask God for forgiveness for not wanting to trust Him
and surrender that thought to Him
and let Jesus again be the center of my thoughts.

Of course that doesn't mean it's wrong to think about other things,
like vacationing or fun snacks or our daily plans....

It's just that I am realizing 
that no matter what I am thinking about
I should always be striving to put Him at the center of those thoughts.

Sometimes these posts are hard to end.
I feel like the things I write about are things everyone knows...
I mean, I certainly know them.
But I feel like I easily forget 
these simple truths
even right after God proves to be everything I know about Him

But that's the journey we are on, right?
We will certainly fall down and fail...
The important thing is what we do after we fall.

Do we stay on our bellies and cry and say
"It's too hard...I don't want to give it to you Lord?"
That might seem easier...

But I suggest that we get back up,
on our knees this time
and give our worries and struggles back to God
and allow our lives to be filled back up with Him...

because it's only then when we can really start living again.


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