Tuesday, April 6

~*~Matthew 11:28~*~

The nature of Dan's condition
feels like an ongoing test of faith.

There is no quick fix to bone fixing.
It's just letting them rest and heal.
and pray that everything heals quickly and correctly.

This requires a heart filled with
complete trust in the Great Protector.

I have a heart that
tries to be filled with these things.
prays to be filled with these things.

Yet, even though God has proven Himself to be faithful in my life
time and time again, (here's an example)
I. still. struggle.

It's hard to not let "Worry" be my middle name.

Even as I lie on the couch
watching Dan sleep in the easy-chair,
I am thinking
"Is his brace on tight enough?"
"Will he try to take it off while on his heavy medication?"
"What if I fall asleep and he tries to get up?"
"What if he does need surgery and the doctor is wrong?"
"How will we get to NJ safely?"
and so forth....

And each time I worry,
I have to remind myself,
Ashley. Pray.

and I do.
and I know God hears me.
I know He has a perfect plan for our lives.
Dan breaking his neck is part of that plan.
God knew it was going to happen.
He knows what is going to happen tonight.
and tomorrow.
and next week.
and on the way home to New Jersey.

My job is to have complete faith in Him.
and truly believe His perfect plan will be carried out.

He is molding Dan and I to become who we are meant to be.
We are being molded to become more like Christ.
and I feel blessed to know that God cares enough about me
to mold me and make me more like Himself.

And in these times of worry,
where my mind starts to wander
and my heart starts to race,
I need to....
reflect on all that God has done.
be confident that He will continue to do great things.
lay all of my burdens down at Jesus' feet.
and rest in the shelter of His love for me.


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