Monday, April 26

Three Candy Lies I Want To Believe

*One*
Eating four full-sized individually wrapped Reese cups
is just like eating four miniature Reese cups.
and certainly not like eating
two full sized packages of Reese cups.
or one king sized package of Reese cups.
that would be piggish.

*Two*
When you eat Hershey kisses,
if you tightly wrap all of your wrappers
into one tight wrapper-ball
it's just like you only ate one Hershey kiss.
and not six or eight or eleven.
that would be gluttonous.

*Three*
You only buy Transformer and Little Pony fruit snacks
because they were free at Acme.
and not for any reason related to an obsession with fruit snacks.
And you are free to eat four bags at once of these non-obsession
since they were free when you bought them.
And you are free to ignore the fast sugar heart beat.
because free equals no calories.
and not 360 sugar-filled 2-snicker-bars-worth-of-calories.

that's all I've got.
or all I'm willing to share.

who am I kidding.
i share everything on this blog.
it's really all i've got.
but it's not all the snacks that are in my belly.
just the ones i currently am lying to myself about.

the.end.

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