Tuesday, April 20

We drive home tomorrow...

and Dan's neck is still broken.

and I'm scared.
my stomach hurts.

I feel like I controlled Dan's safety here.
and I can control his safety when we get home.

And in the car tomorrow....
and on our way to Philadelphia on Friday...
it will all be different.
because there are other cars.
traffic.
bumps.
turns.
so many things
"out of my control".

oh ME of little faith.

pretty sure God has proven to me
particularly in these past 18 days
that HE is ALWAYS in control (not me).

He is in control here at my parents' house (not me).
He will be in control at home (not me).


And He will be in control in the car.
Not me.
It's never me.
I'm never in control.
it's small-minded of me to ever think that I am.
and God has protected Dan so far
and I truly believe in His capability to protect Dan's neck in the car.
and I'm truly glad He is the One in control.

but I still feel scared.
blog o' honest thoughts here...

and tomorrow is going to be a struggle
to surrender all of my fears.
to continually trust in God's protection.
His perfect plan.
His control.
and so I will be fighting those struggles tomorrow
through prayer.
because it's the only way to make it through.

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