Saturday, April 3

When Faith is Tested

In my Tuesday night blog post,
I wrote:

So dare I say "bring it on?"
Am I 
really ready for God to test my faith?
Do I truly believe in His great plan for my life?
I say yes.

But then I almost delete those four lines...
because I'm scared to say that.
The sinner in me says

That means things will be taken away
or will never come to be.
I'll never be happy again.

On Friday,
God tested me.
My husband broke his neck.

It's what you immediately grasp to 
when you are uncontrollably shaking
when you hear the furniture crash down the stairs
and know your husband is underneath it.

It's the only thing you can hold on to
When the news comes 
that there could be a chance
you may never feel your husband hold onto you again.

It's the peace that passes understanding 
when you can't understand
why your husband is lying in a hospital bed.

It's believing God is good
when the worst could happen 
as they move him from stretcher to board
and board to bed.
and move him 11 times
on the day of his injury.

It's asking God to test your faith
And then trusting Him when He does
as you watch your husband suffer
through tests.
and fear.

It's peace through prayer.
It's belief in Christ.
It's resting in God's perfect plan.

The sinner in me says "Why"
But then I immediately rush to my faith.
my faith in prayer.
in hope.
in healing.
in my good, good Savior.