Wednesday, July 28

A Word of Wisdom...

Before you put your sunglasses on your head,
make sure you do not already have a pair there.

especially before you walk around an entire hotel's property...

because then you will have two pairs of sunglasses on your head.
and they might possibly stay there for a good 30 minutes
before they come off...
allowing all the fancy hotel guests to see the double trouble.

I tried to google afterwards
for any saving face material, like...
"New Trend- It's All the Rage! Jayma Mays is seen wearing two pairs of sunglasses on her head!"
or "This Just in: Wearing Two Pairs of Sunglasses on Your Head Saves Brain Cells"
but no luck.

I was just a Four-Lensed-Fool in a Fancy-Shmancy Hotel.

so learn from me friends.
and for the love...
check ahead before you sunglass your head.

Saturday, July 17

Stealing Seagulls

Sitting on the sand.
With a hoagie in my hand.

The waves were crashing.
My Italian hoagie was smashing.

My hand held the hoagie near my face.
With my mouth open ready to embrace.

I felt two claws on my head.
And I soon realized a seagull stole my bread!

He was around and there he did linger.
He stole my hoagie and almost my finger!

I did not act like a grown-up at all.
I did not maturely brush off my finger-losing close-call.

I started screaming to the birds in the sky.
Children were scared and possibly I nearly cried.

The birds were quite rude; they didn't even say please.
And now I am as afraid of them as I am of spiders and bees.

This story is true- your own hoagies are at stake!
So eat your hoagie at home or at a seagull-free lake.




Friday, July 9

Why You Should (or should not) Wear Spray Sunscreen

Only wear spray sunscreen if you want to look like the striped ninja ranger.

"What are the colors of a striped ninja ranger?" you ask.
Swollen Red and Pasty White
I know- you're absolutely jealous.

I'll totally be participating in shorts-wearing all summer.
I am the striped ninja ranger after all.
And this look is awesome:





Ok- the truth is spilling out:
Summer Goal #4 (1, 2, and 3 listed here):
Lose my title as the Striped Ninja Ranger. 
A ninja ranger has too many jobs and responsibilities
and I'm way too busy applying aloe to my burn ninja stripes.

Any interested applicants can apply below.