Monday, May 7

Love the Blink You're In

Blogging hasn't happened in awhile over here.
Life gets busy and the days quickly go by
and then you wake up and your sweet twin baby girls are almost one.
You somehow blink and when you open your eyes,
eleven months and thirteen days have past on by.

And in that blink,
somewhere between the eyes closing
and them opening back up,
you have loved two little people deeper than you knew possible,
two little people that you grew inside your belly,
and from when they arrived into the world,
went from two six and a half pound peanuts
who only knew how to cry and nurse and sleep,
to two twenty one pound almost toddlers
who feed themselves and take steps and call you mama.

And if something could be taken away from that blink,
something to carry into future blinks,
it would be to love the blink you're in.
to embrace the every day.
to live in the here and now.
to not worry about the house selling
and the weight you want to lose
and the future goals and if the house is clean
and the next thing on the to-do list.

Because in time
all those things can come to be
but it's in the now
that now happens.
and it's gone in a blink.

And I'm not hinting at regret
about how I spent the past eleven months and thirteen days.
I spent many a sweet moment
savoring that beautiful baby smell,
cuddling their little warm bodies close to mine,
and kissing their soft, chubby cheeks,
recognizing that it goes by quickly
and telling myself... "remember this".

But the tendencies to let life take me in,
to be swept away by the busy and the stress,
and letting the ordinary become mundane,
are always pulling and nagging.
to do more. be more. and clean and fix and plan.

Yet it's in the ordinary...
somewhere in the oatmeal eating and cheerio grasping,
the chubby thighs and tiny toes,
the one legged crawl and wobbly stands,
the start of curls in the back of their heads
that you notice while you read story after story,
and the little cries for mama as they reach their small arms up...
it's in those ordinary moments
that joy is found.
that love is present.
and life is truly lived.

Of course, there are days with
too much crying and "Where is Daddy?" and "Is it really only noon?"
and those days are not fun by any stretch of the imagination,
and there is no guilt in a mommy time out
as you kiss your sweet babies' cheeks goodbye
and they enjoy an afternoon with their daddy
while you eat Reese eggs and take a bubble bath and walk around Target
without a diaper bag and a stroller and a cart and two babies and your coupons.

And one of the greatest things to remember as a mother,
to believe in the deepest part of your core,
is that your best today is enough
as you teach and love and give
to the little people you grew inside your belly
and take care of as they grow outside in the world.
To recognize that mistakes will be made,
the house will not always be clean,
the vegetables will go bad while the Oreos are eaten,
and the only squats done all day will be the ones you do
when you pick up fallen peas and bananas around the high chairs.
but that's all okay...
because if you look closely,
those same moments
are filled with cheerios and chubby cheeks,
little ones finding their voice with mamas and peek a boos,
tiny toes and little socks,
new teeth smiles and squeaky giggles.

And all of those sweet, simple moments
during the first 353 days of life shared between a momma and her babies,
will be as quickly gone as they came,
and the greatest thing you can do
is let tomorrow be tomorrow,
your best be enough,
and enjoy today, today.

Love the blink you're in.